Why?

When I planned this blog last Fall, I sketched out a series of subjects I would tackle, a monthly roadmap to help me remember what it was I meant to talk about, and when.  You can see that roadmap here.

I titled the first post “Why?” 

When I came back to actually write the post some months later, I couldn’t remember what Why? I was talking about.

Why this website? Why this blog? Why this book? Why write? Why bother?  So many Whys.

Why this book and why write can wait, and why bother is probably too big a subject for this space, so I’ll stick with the first two this time around.

Why this website, then?  Why this blog?

The short answer: because my publisher said so.  A cop-out, I know, but it’s the truth.

Me?  I’m a little skeptical.  I’m fifty now.   As I’ve aged, I’ve come to peace with the fact that nobody really cares what I think.  Nor should they.  They’ve got their own thoughts.  Good thoughts, most likely, even great ones.  Thoughts that are grand, small, silly, insightful, crooked, witty, and urbane.  These rowdy thoughts crowd their own heads, clamoring for space, with the meeker among them shuttled aside by more immediate and intrusive concerns.  And if the fine folks out there in the world want to go looking for other thoughts, outside thoughts, somebody else’s thoughts, there are certainly better candidates to provide them than me.

So why this website, why this blog?  Because my publisher said so.  When Regal House accepted Just Maria for publication, they asked that I work with them to promote it, and do my best to connect with people who might want to buy the book.  They sent me a 54-page author guide full of suggestions on how I might do this more effectively.  Regal House is a business after all, interested in selling books.  That’s how they keep the lights on.  They’d made a commitment to me, in time and money, and asked me to do the same. A reasonable ask.  jayhardwig.com was born.

As I sat down to write this first post, an obvious thought occurred to me:  I want what Regal House wants.  To sell books.  I didn’t spend seven years on Just Maria to set it on the shelf and forget it.  I didn’t spend eighteen months looking for a publisher, just to sign a contract and then go into hiding.  I have always wanted to see a book of mine on my bookshelf, complete with a colorful cover and my name on the spine.

And you know what?  I want it on your bookshelf too.

Vanity?  Sure.  And it doesn’t end with the book.  Regal House isn’t a vanity press, but jayhardwig.com is a vanity project, and I’ve indulged it.  I paid good money for that photo shoot that made those pretty author shots, and bought myself a few new shirts the day before.  The morning of the shoot, I shaved double-close, routed out my nosehairs, and put cold spoons on my face, because I read that’s what the models do to try to reduce the bags under their eyes.  (Didn’t help.)  I tilted my chin up, to better reduce the wattle, and was pleased that my photographer found some flattering light.  So let me not pretend there is no vanity in this project.  There is plenty.  I’ve come to terms with that.

So whether my initial reluctance was born of false modesty, genuine skepticism, or simply the fear of looking the fool, I have put it behind me, and committed to this book, this website, and this blog.

I’ll be making occasional updates, to tell the story of Just Maria and keep you updated on its progress towards publication.  (Just Maria will be published on January 7, 2022, by the Fitzroy Books imprint of Regal House Publishing.  Pre-order now here

I don’t expect this book to change the world, and I know its reach may be small, but I wrote it, I’m proud of it, and I aim to share it.

So come along, dear readers and we’ll see this thing to print.

Jay

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Next month:  I Made Other Things, Too:  A Writing History